Everyday Tweet

3 Ways to Snap Out of The Comparison Trap

I tweeted today about comparing yourself to others:

Since the economy has been on the tank, it's been very easy for many of us to fall into the comparison trap where we start comparing ourselves to others especially when it comes to things like material possessions, money, relationships, career and beauty / manliness.

The comparison game is just that a trap. @catheroo pointed out this insightful quote, "Comparison is the thief of joy." And, I think The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann sums it up succinctly:

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

So, if you find yourself in the comparison funk, here's 3 ways to help you snap you out of it:

• For everything you feel you are lacking, write down at least one thing you do posses or do have going for you. I call this the "It's only fair game" which your psyche can make logical sense. If the lack gets the limelight, then your abundance should get equal time. Writing the list of what you do have even if it is only 2-3 things will start getting the "good feeling" momentum going.

• Context is everything. What is the context in which you are comparing yourself to someone else because in one context something that appears to be good might be not so important in another context. For example, being a millionaire is something many people envy. But if people are trapped in a burning building, does it matter who is a millionaire or not? No, what matters is courage and helping others. Money is not going to get people to safety, but courage will. So back, to your "what you have" list, remember your character traits and values.

• Look at the big picture. The person you are comparing yourself to may have one thing you envy, but their overall life may be worse off than yours. That person may also be looking at you and envying your life and what you have. Yes, remember your "what you have" list, others have stock in that list too because even if you can't see what's fantastic about you, others can.

So, you feel a bit brighter now? What are some other ways you've snapped out of the comparison funk?

5 Self Esteem Builders You Can Do on Twitter

 

Feeling insecure and having self doubts is part of the human experience. Everyone, and I mean everyone on the planet at one point or another in their day, week, year, or life, has to deal with self esteem issues.

The trick is allowing yourself the room to experience that humanness yet not let it bring you totally down. And yes, I realize that it's much easier said than done. Preaching to the choir. That's why we focus on tiny actions here.

Here's 5 Self Esteem Builders You Can Do on Twitter:

Pull yourself out of the pity pool

It's very easy to get trapped in the notion that we are not good enough, not good looking enough, not smart enough, not talented enough, not, not, not, and the list goes on. Those negative thoughts basically hand walk us into our own pity pool. Next time you find yourself going "there", start asking things like:

• Anyone got a good tip on how to pull yourself out of a funk?
• Am I the only one whose been laid off and feels like finding a job is like competing for a cube of cheese in tankful of mice?

Or go on Twitter search, and do a search for terms related to the mood or space you're in so you can see what others are saying. For example, @chaosmarine recently rejected money for happiness and is still debating that decision.

You'll quickly see that you're not alone, other people have it worse than you, or that what you think is bad about yourself really isn't so bad. There is a saying that goes something like, "There will always be someone better or worse than you."